I’ll Skip the New Years Resolutions: Lessons After a Year of Transitions

The New Year is upon us. In my younger years, it meant a reason to gather amongst friends and live as large as possible for one night. Main formula: club, dancing, drinks, and a hotel nearby that we could safely stumble and fall asleep. This phase was relatively short lived, maybe a 5 year span of “the best night ever” followed by attempts to recreate the moment as life was moving incredibly fast though not always perceptible or welcomed by myself. 

Several life transitions later and now a mega humdinger of a relationship adjustment leave me wrapping up 2022 and looking to 2023 with both fear and curiosity. And I know I could turn to the resolution to blissfully (or restrictively) occupy my time and energy. Provide me with a sense of accomplishment, much desired/needed mood boost, regular interval of self analysis and accountability. The most desirable of all… Facebook bragging rights and content that suggests I have it all together.

And yet another side of myself is telling me that the mind set of the resolution, the firm determination of the self in a certain direction, is actually the opposite of what I need to be doing.

I can’t strive myself out of my current position, feelings, and concerns. I’ve been doing that for years and it doesn’t seem to be landing internally for me or my relationships. Moreover, how do I set the fixed goal as my world is actually metaphorically blowing up?  

Cue contemplation of “intention.” Simply stated, an aim. A key difference seemingly being the flexibility that surrounds an intention that a resolution just does not offer or allow.  

Okay, I get it. Splitting words a bit? Maybe. 

But what if we are trimming off the unreasonable or impractical aspects of a resolution that actually also adds to judgment, rigidity, and low mood or anxiety for many of us?

Not just this time of year but anytime of year when we fall into a trap of pushing when it doesn’t actually serve us, especially during times of transition. What if we are actually removing excess demand and allowing for what is possible to make its way forward? 

I’m not sure what I’ll be doing for New Years Eve this year. I may end up gathering with some friends and ringing it in with some gusto. Or I may have a quiet night with my family or spend it alone with my doggo. While going through a big life transition, the only moment I am sure of is right now. 

Regardless of what I do that particular night, my intention for myself that night and future nights is to tap into flexibility and not needing to have it all figured out. I’m going to embrace the coming year for what wins, gratitudes, and chaos it will bring as my life transitions into a new season. I will live in the present moment, appreciate as much as I can as it comes my way, and look forward with curiosity rather than damned uncertainty.