Surviving the Holidays while in Eating Disorder Recovery: 5 Expert Tips
The holidays can be both a fun and challenging time for many people. On one hand, it can be a nostalgic time for music, presents and visiting friends and family. Folks love to feel cozy, blast Mariah Cary and drive to see holiday lights. On the other hand, this time of year may be a time of high anxiety and distress. During the holidays party goers are often surrounded by food which may be challenging for people who are diagnosed with eating disorders, have disordered eating or struggle with body image.
We cannot control (even though we wished we could) that aunt Susan comments on our body or that cousin Britany talks about her 30 pound weight loss this year or when mom comments on our portions. However, we can control the coping skills we use and how to create and hold our boundaries during these stressful interactions. In order to enjoy and thrive, instead of just surviving the holidays this year, here are some helpful tips:
1.First Things First - Awareness
The first thing we can do to limit distress is become aware of the cause and effect. Identify the cause: triggers. Triggers are people, places and things that increase distress. Next, notice your bodies' warning signs. Get curious about your feelings. Signs of distress can come in physiological symptoms in your body, or as thoughts or feelings, which may lead to behaviors.
Take a moment and think about a time you were distressed. What was the situation? Was it due to a topic of discussion or a particular person or behavior? Where were you, was the location the trigger?
How did your physical body feel? Where did you feel the distress? Did your heart beat faster or the rhythm of your breathing change? Did you perspire? Did your mind race or did you get a headache?
What thoughts and feelings were you experiencing? Sadness? Hurt? Did you want to cry? Did you feel guilt or shame? Did you feel helpless or hopeless? Did you want to fight or flee the situation?
If we take time to have awareness of these, and notice the feelings coming up beforehand we may change our reactions to curiosity rather than distress. This can allow time to engage in coping skills sooner rather than later and allow room for clear thinking.
2. Holiday Coping Plan
Now that we know our triggers and distress warning signs, we can identify helpful behaviors and coping skills to use. Planning ahead can be vital to enjoying the holidays.
Avoid triggers if possible.
Have a schedule in place and take breaks when needed.
Identify supportive people and discuss your plan with them ahead of time, then also discuss how it went after the fact.
Utilize coping skills that have been helpful in the past.
Create a meal plan with your dietician ahead of time.
3. Set and Keep Boundaries
Boundaries are important for a successful recovery and they are even more important when dealing with holiday stress. Remember that you are in control of your behaviors and have options for how to respond to distress.
Be direct - You can simply be direct with people and say “Please do not comment on my body, other people's bodies or use diet language”.
Change the subject - Have pivot statements ready for when you feel triggered.
Walk away - If you struggle with confrontation walking away can be the best way to take a break from the situation.
4. Self- Compassion
Self-compassion is often hard. We tend to be more compassionate towards others than ourselves.
Remember to practice gratitude towards yourself. If you struggle with this, act as though you are speaking to a loved one and provide compassion the way you would for your best friend.
Challenge negative self talk.
Engage in self-soothing activities.
Rest.
5. Additional Helpful Hints
It could also be a really good idea to have your sessions pre-scheduled with your therapist so that way you can use support when needed. If you do not have a therapist this could be a time in which reaching out to find a therapist could benefit you most.
