Anxiety Disorders: Going Beyond Quick Fixes by Journeying Back Home
“How do I get rid of my anxiety once and for all?”
One of the most common questions that I get from my patients and friends is “how do I get rid of my anxiety once and for all?”. An easy (and professionally safe) way to answer this question is by saying that we “manage” anxiety by leaning “skills” such as relaxation (for example, diaphragmatic breathing), mindfulness, and cognitive skills (such as challenging unrealistic thoughts). In fact, bulleted lists of those skills populate nearly every blog, video, podcast or other social media addressing anxiety management. To give you an idea of how popular those skills are, by just performing a quick online search on “anxiety and diaphragmatic breathing” alone, I got about 2,180,000 results right now! Yet, despite all the available “tips and skills”, more and more people continue to suffer from anxiety disorders placing it as number one mental illness around the globe. So, if “tips and skills” were sufficient to wipe our anxiety disorders, why so many people who use those skills daily continue to suffer from anxiety even for years to come?
“But anxiety disorders are like smart villains”
Part of the problem is that our current culture has become obsessed with quick solutions for all sort of problems – anxiety disorders included - therefore dismissing solid solutions that require time and patience. As someone just told me the other day, “the quicker ‘thing’ gets my attention because life is now moving at the speed of light, and I don’t have time to waste”. Or in other words, “the quicker the better”. But anxiety disorders are like smart villains, they know in which hole to crawl in when the doors are locked. And they really don’t care if we are in a hurry or have no time to waste either. They surely come to attack us when we are not looking, to steal our peace even during moments of rest, and to kill our joy for life at any given time of the day and night. Then, back to our initial question, “how do I get rid of my anxiety once and for all?”
“A long but rewarding walk”
Let me tell you something: my personal and clinical experience have taught me that living a life free from anxiety is not just a matter of pulling a 5-minute skill out of our pockets -- it is a long but rewarding walk towards getting to truly know our selves; it is an inside journey towards our own INNER WORLD. This is the key! For some people, this may be the first time in their lives that they will take such a courageous journey. For most people, this most likely will require engaging in therapy with an experienced therapist who can guide in this specific journey. For some, this may even take the path of spirituality.
“Something beyond what skills and tips can offer”
Either way, what do we find in such a journey? Through this journey we find something beyond what skills and tips can offer! We find our INNER CHILD asking for our protection; our SAFE PLACES providing us with grounding and peace during moments of fear and despair; our forgotten INVISIBLE FRIENDS right there to whisper words of encouragement, to empower us, to tell us “You can do it, for you are safe”. We also surprisingly discover our ADULT SELVES… gentle as a loving parent teaching us a deeper sense of hope, faith, courage, and optimism in face of life’s unapologetic obstacles, challenges, and difficulties. At some point in this journey, we REMEMBER our dreams, inspirations, and healthy ambitions which we left forgotten in our past and slowly exchanged for the illusion of anxiety and fear. Taking a few more steps and we firmly REDISCOVER our WILL TO POWER, WILL TO MEANING, and WILL TO LIFE. And this is the WILL that empowers us to firmly say “yes to life!” even when the light is dim inviting anxiety back into our lives.
“The journey is the bridge between fear and love”
As this is my first blog at Hello Mental Health, I would like to invite you to take this journey with me. I suffered from severe anxiety most of my life, and I myself have been travelling this forgotten road that leads to true peace. Many things I have been learning along the way. Because learning results in changes, my anxiety has also been transformed into a new perspective of life that has brought light into the dark world of my anxiety. FEAR is no longer an emotion (as classically defined by psychology); I realized that fear is actually the distance between our lost self and our inner peace which has always been there. I also learned that LOVE is not an emotion either (as also classically defined by psychology). Love is a place that can be defined as our true home. As you see, working with anxiety means going beyond skills; getting rid of anxiety is returning home. It is my desire that you too take the journey leading to recovery… the journey which bridges fear and anxiety to self-discovery and love.
