When Coming Early Is Good Thing: Relationship Distress and Couples Therapy
In the midst of romance and it starts getting harder, it is so easy to assume we can find satisfaction without adding a third person to the mix.
For some, the idea of reaching out to a therapist doesn’t arise until someone seeks a “last ditch effort” to save a relationship. After all, can’t everyone else figure it out on their own? Maybe. But there is so much truth to the adage,
“an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
When we seek couples therapy in the early stages of conflict, we are more likely to see a higher return on our investments of money, time, and energy.
Coming to therapy early is like treating a wound when it's a tiny scratch rather than waiting until it festers into a full-blown infection. Similarly, addressing relationship issues in their infancy prevents them from snowballing into larger, more complex problems.
Resentment and contempt are harder to undo than frustration and fear.
It's all about catching those red flags when they're mere whispers instead of booming sirens.
Now, you might be wondering, "But why can't we handle our issues on our own?" I completely understand that sentiment and once found myself with similar thoughts. There's a certain pride in believing we can navigate the turbulent waters of relationships without outside help.
We might compare ourselves to other couples who seem to have things figured out and make it look easy. However, let's face it: we all have blind spots. We might think we're communicating effectively, but in reality, we're speaking different languages altogether- perhaps even focusing on the wrong things. Couples therapy provides that neutral ground where a skilled professional can decode our messages, bridge the gaps, and facilitate connection.
Moreover, seeking therapy early on fosters a proactive mindset. It's akin to scheduling regular check-ups with your doctor rather than waiting for a medical emergency.
By prioritizing your relationship's health, you're investing in its longevity. You're saying, "We value this bond enough to address any hiccups before they morph into deal-breakers."
Another compelling reason to opt for early intervention is the preservation of sexual and emotional intimacy. The image of tension simmering beneath the surface, words left unsaid, and emotional walls gradually erecting themselves—doesn’t exactly put one in the mood, does it? By seeking therapy at the onset of conflict, you're proactively dismantling those barriers and creating a safe space where vulnerability thrives, intimacy deepens, and all types of enjoyment of one another flourishes.
It’s not just our home lives that are impacted when our relationships struggle. Relationship conflict seeps into every aspect of our lives. While at work, have you ever been distracted by thoughts about your partner and the last fight you had? How many times have you felt alone with your concerns because you didn’t want friends or family to think differently of your significant other?
By addressing relationship issues early on, we're not just safeguarding our relationship; we're nurturing a positive ripple effect that extends far beyond the confines of our partnership.
Lastly, let's debunk the myth that seeking therapy equates to admitting failure. On the contrary, it's a testament to strength and resilience. It takes courage to acknowledge that we don't have all the answers and humility to seek guidance when needed. Couples therapy isn't a sign of weakness; it's a proactive step towards growth, understanding, and ultimately, a stronger, more resilient relationship.
Coming to couples therapy early in the conflict cycle isn't a sign of impending doom; it's a beacon of hope. It's about recognizing the value of our relationship, prioritizing its health, and proactively nurturing its growth—and knowing what to do when things get hard.
