A New Perspective on Progress
A question that I get routinely asked is,
“how do I know I’m getting better?”
I love this question because it highlights an important truth: change is often gradual and subtle. It can be hard to see or appreciate it when we don’t have a sense of what to be looking for.
Most people understandably focus on symptom relief as the primary measure of improvement. This is seemingly a universal goal. The symptoms that brought me to therapy are reducing or improving in some way that I am able to subjectively experience. However, we often get stuck in the loop of what is happening with our “symptoms” and begin to strive for their absence. It’s not that reduction of symptoms isn’t desirable and meaningful. It’s that progress isn’t always linear. We can start to confuse “symptom reduction” with striving for the absence of even normal amounts of pain and discomfort.
So, I implore you to think beyond symptoms. Throw away the purely medical model that we know is out dated and integrate in these anchors of well-being when contemplating your wellness journey.
FLEXIBILITY. Consider the degree to which you can be flexible– whether it’s in your thoughts, behaviors, or relationships. It’s not that we must walk around doing novel activities all the time to be healthy. Nevertheless, a sign of mental wellness is that we can think outside of the box and not have to act in fixed/rigid ways.
SELF WORTH. You start to notice your own value more often and see yourself as capable. You are able to consider yourself worthwhile and possess skills even while you still doubt and struggle. Moreover, you give yourself permission to think positively about yourself and give up the myths of perfection or that thinking highly of yourself is “bragging.”
EMOTIONAL AWARENESS AND REGULATION. You are increasingly able to tolerate your feelings, even if you don’t like them. You are willing to allow your emotional self to exist while also developing ways of soothing in the moment and caring for yourself that feel good to you, and they work!
SLOW DOWN REACTIVITY. You are less impulsive and able to pause before reacting. To give space between thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Allow non response to be a valid option of action. Able to walk away, reflect, and return. Literally, reduce your speed, flow, sense of urgency.
INTIMACY WITH SELF AND OTHERS. Find that you are able to feel content and comfortable when alone and with others. You may notice increased willingness towards being with others, or perhaps a growing appreciation for your personal down time and moments of solitude.
Remember, progress doesn’t always look like a straight line, and it certainly isn’t about achieving perfection. Wellness is a dynamic, evolving process that often involves setbacks and growth spurts. By focusing on these broader indicators of mental health, you can begin to recognize and celebrate your progress in more meaningful ways.
If you’re ready to explore your own path toward wellness or need support in navigating life’s challenges, we’re here to help. Take the first step today by scheduling a session. Together, we’ll uncover the growth you’re already making and help you continue the journey.
